But then I realized that I still have secrets.
But also that fuck it, I should start blogging again anyway. When I write in my journal, I put words I want to emphasize in boxes. I wish I could box things on the internet. I would have boxed *fuck it*.
So I broke up with him after 8 years. And I'm single now for the first time, well, ever. I sort of feel like I'm a lesbian for the first time ever too, which is interesting because really, of course, I've always been a lesbian.
I've learned all sorts of new things about myself since he's been gone. Like:
- When I'm the only one living here, I'll clean the counters obsessively. Dust, kool-aid powder, wrappers -- they can live happily anywhere except the kitchen counters. I'd rather have them on the floor than the counter.
- I like listening to music in the house more than I knew. I've been plugging my mp3 player into speakers in the kitchen and singing badly and passionately to Rihanna songs most days since he left.
- I missed some of the things that have been in boxes since we moved in. I'm glad that my art cards from Paris are finally somewhere I can see them. They're so awesome.